wedding planning woes

Friday feels are in full effect, friends!

Today I thought I would talk about how I don’t have the slightest clue on how to plan a wedding. Actually, I take that back, I have a clue thanks to some books and some of my good friends, but overall I am not the biggest fan of it.

I think social media, in general, gives a really tough depiction on how you are supposed to go about things.

As a little girl, I will admit that I sometimes contemplated how I would get married someday. I blame those amazing Disney Princess movies for doing that to me, and for probably doing it to countless others.

I always thought my wedding day would be a grand-affair with a massive dress, people, food and whatever else! As a child, you don’t contemplate the who, what, where, when and most importantly…HOW… this was all going to take place and be paid for.

As I grew up, and after the passing of my father, the thoughts of weddings vanished – I like to think I have always focused on myself and a career over relationships. However, I met an amazing guy, life progressed and I couldn’t be happier to spend forever with him.


One thing I found I was not prepared for was figuring out how to actually plan a wedding.

I want to walk through some of the problems I have with the whole wedding stuff – don’t hate me. I find it true that weddings today resemble those marketing holidays like Valentines Day. They are so expensive! I also want to know who decides the timeline for these things?

My fiance and I got engaged on December 11, 2016 and  we didn’t tell anyone until a few days later so that we could enjoy our time spent together – basking in the commitment we have decided to make to each other. Well, the minute we decided we should tell people (because his coworkers could read his terrible poker face *giggles* and I shamelessly started a wedding board on Pintrest) we were bombarded by the, “Do you have a date?” question.

What in the literal eff! We just got engaged and now we have to have a date? It was wild to me how quickly the process for planning a wedding is supposed to go. We got engaged and it was as if we were supposed to have a game plan before the engagement ever happened.

Next up, we were asked – well where, have you set a venue yet?

I mean, who has this planned out two/three weeks after an engagement? Bravo to you out there that have your life together because clearly I do not.  I think of a lot of things during the course of a day, but never once am I over there with a checklist for all  things I need to do for a ONE DAY event that’s 10 months away.

It’s as if saying, “Why yes! I went out months before we got engaged and viewed venues and booked one yesterday!”

It’s also like going out and picking your ring before you get engaged. I want to stress, I have NO problem with people doing that – that is just not me. I still, to this day, have no idea what cut or anything my ring is aside from it’s absolutely perfect in every way. My fiance crushed it, and we are going to crush this wedding stuff, as well as life, together.

Anywho, can I ask what the deal is with the wedding planning books?

If I can offer any advice to anyone who may need it, forego the book(s). It may help you, but honestly it just made me more confused as to what I was supposed to be doing. Instead, I suggest friends and wine – that always works out better… And here is why I say that…

Shortly after getting engaged I thought it would be a great idea to buy The Knot wedding planner binder-thingy that has great reviews on Amazon. I felt so very silly buying it, but I am a pen and paper kind of person so I thought it might help me be less confused about how to plan a wedding. I mean, according to Pintrest and my social feeds there are a lot of  elaborate things you’re supposed to do and there is a tight timeframe to do them!


You know the things like send your Bridesmaids all types of gifts and when you should do that, and when you should book this and that, and when you should have a dress – basically everything! I don’t understand it all or when you need to do those things!

So I bought the binder and received it in the mail, and it’s huge! I opened it, attempted to read it and it is as if it’s in a totally different language. After two months of having the wedding planner, I think I have written two things down.

So it was definitely worth the purchase.

I now understand, too, why weddings have become so expensive and why a bride could go from nice to cray-cray in 0.5 seconds.

I think I gave a literal, “What the eff,” when I looked through it.  I also went through a solid 24 hour period of telling my fiance about all of the things we needed to do in a certain timeframe based from the book. It was dumb.

Now we are in a smooth state of doing things at our pace – not worrying about a book or about questions, and I have found that’s the best. I am fortunate to have some great friends who are helping me out along the way.

I will say I have had to come to terms with some things since getting engaged.

The number one thing I have learned in the past two months is – weddings are kind of a crock. The last thing I want to do in life is go overboard and spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on a single day – I’d rather save and be able to spend that on my future children. Call me frugal, but that is what’s important to me.

I think crafty is the key word for weddings. I plan to take it day by day and do things realistically, and not worry about some stupid planner that says you need this by this time.

The point of this post is – no matter what, focus on you, who you love and what’s important to both of said parties. There is no set timeline in life to accomplish things and everything will turn out the way it is supposed to – it always does!


  1. Gail Tome Brenner

    When I read your post on wedding planning I could feel the hyper anxiety that I felt while going through my wedding. And we eloped. My husband and I have been through a big wedding with our first failed marriages. So with our wedding we had a set of friends to stand with us and married in his lifelong church. We spent two nights at the Bedford Springs hotel having fun with our friends and then headed for Virginia Beach. It was wonderful for all of us. Our kids however called us turds for sneaking off to do this. But hey, they’ll get over it.

    When my kids got married I got a big event tent and we did May weddings in our backyard. It worked well for us, even though there is stress to every event you do, these weddings were about close family and friends. My advise is have fun and don’t let it get stuffy. Congratulations and good luck.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s