As women, the thought of being pregnant can be both exciting and scary.
The thought of having a child probably gives you the realization that your life is about to change. Maybe you have been waiting for this moment for a very long time, or maybe it just isn’t the timing that you imagined. For each and every woman, I would bet this idea, and potential news, is received very, very differently. Today I want to tell you about how we realized we may be expecting, and the raw truth of how the news was received in our household.
The idea that we may be expecting all began after we traveled to Jamaica for our honeymoon. (So clichè right?!) I started to notice that I felt different here and there, and it was primarily when we had consumed some alcohol.
You see, during the holiday season, I never really focus too hard on my diet. I’d enjoy a Titos or two in the evening by the sweet serenity of my Christmas tree. During the two-to-three weeks following our honeymoon, if I would have an alcoholic drink I would notice it would either not have any effect on me or make me feel like I was utterly dying – like I had alcohol poisoning.
At first, we didn’t think much about the issue that I was having with drinking because I wasn’t late. However; the more time went by, the more we noticed how much worse it got.
One night, maybe two weeks after our trip, we attended a retirement party for one of my husband’s good friends. It was an open bar, and while my husband was wide open, I focused on pacing myself (considering I had to work the next day). I had two glasses of wine and one mixed drink that night, and wow did it hit me hard. The next morning I woke up late, thought I was drugged and slugged myself to work. I immediately thought, “OK, this is not normal.”
It was the evening after that party, and we both were thinking, could we have gotten pregnant in Jamaica?
From there, the thought of being pregnant really started to stake its claim on our minds. A week later, we flew to Oregon to visit our family and I had two nose bleeds during the flight. I never get nose bleeds, and we both thought it may have to do with the air quality on the plane(s). I called my mom and told her about the nose bleeds and she agreed it could be the flights, but I still felt like something was off…
While we were in Oregon, I started to get insanely bad gas. Oh, and when I say bad gas, there isn’t even a word strong enough to define the gas that I had while we were on our trip. It was so potent that my husband would literally laugh at me and question what was wrong. For someone who has never been a gassy person prior, this was a huge red flag that something was going on out of the ordinary.
Holy sleepiness! My mother-in-law was the first to notice that I was tired during our visit. While everyone else was having fun and enjoying our company, I was dozing off in the early evening around 7-8 PM. I couldn’t seem to find energy to stay active and engaged with everyone all-day-long, and I wondered if I was anemic again, since I had struggled with anemia in the past.
We made the decision, while we were in Oregon, that we would get a test after we got home, so the potential news didn’t factor into our emotions during the trip.
On the Wednesday of our return, my husband went to the store and picked up two pregnancy tests for me to take after I got home for work.
Side note: Ladies, if you send your guy to get any pregnancy tests for you, or just anything in general, I would recommend being specific on what you want. He purchased two tests that solely showed lines versus the verbal words of PREGNANT in bold.
When I arrived home from work that day, we took two deep breaths (or maybe I just did that) and took the first test. The first test came back with two lines, but one of the lines was nearly impossible to see. From there I, of course, took the second test and had the same result.
Well, that was frustrating. Does this mean we are pregnant?
Following the two tests I burst into tears. I wasn’t sure if in that exact moment I should be excited, confused, overwhelmed or frustrated. I was excited because I knew that this was something my husband has always wanted, and I knew he was going to be an amazing father. I was confused because I couldn’t believe it could be that easy for us to get pregnant, when in truth, we have never really been that careful in the past. I was overwhelmed because that moment solidified that my entire life was about to change, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that to happen. I was frustrated because the damn test wasn’t easy to read. Overall it was such a waterfall of emotions all at once.
My husband’s quote, which should be interpreted in a playful manner was, “Wow, I feel like I got a 15-year-old pregnant right now.” (This should really be taken playfully, because he was trying to give me perspective that we can handle this.)
Once I calmed down, we went out to retrieve one more test – you know, the kind that spells it out for you. We also grabbed a quick dinner and talked about the possibilities and next steps that we assumed we would need to take.
I swear, as a first time mother it is confusing AF trying to figure out when you need to go to the doctor, what you need to buy and how you’re going to be ready for the child that is quickly coming into your life.
When we got home, we took the final test and when it flashed pregnant we both were beyond excited. Having an hour or so to process the news gave us the clarity we needed to know this is what God had planned for us at this time, and that we should be thankful and excited.
There are people in this world, some of which are our good friends, who have struggled to conceive. How dare us ever question the gift that God has given us so easily!
Finding out you may be expecting can be exciting, scary, thrilling and overwhelming all at the same time. Some of us desire pregnancy and motherhood, while some of us don’t or some of us don’t know. Despite what your emotions are, you need to know that you are worth it and that God has a plan for you and your life. While it may not be easy, you are capable of more and of being an amazing mother. Everyday you should grow mindful that you are alive, you are healthy and you’ve got this girl!
Next week I want to walk you through what we found out were the next steps for our pregnancy and how quickly I started to feel the first trimester woes.