When you find out you are expecting for the first time, you feel so many different emotions.
Emotions of love, excitement, fear and confusion are all typical responses to the news that you’re pregnant. After you accept the news, you, as a first-time expectant mother, realize that you’re not sure what comes next. You pull out your trustworthy phone, paired with the internet, and start to ask Siri every question under the sun, and you maybe even get intimidated.
For this first time momma-to-be, I had absolutely no idea where to begin when we found out we were expecting.
I knew that, following the positive pregnancy test(s), I would need to visit a doctor, but no one prepared me for the news that I would have to wait eight weeks to even get an appointment. When I called my doctor and they informed me of that news, I was blown away. However, it seems that they like to wait to make sure you’re 100% pregnant, that your baby has a little heartbeat and that you see your little gummy bear in an ultrasound. When you get to that moment, you’re heart explodes into a million little pieces of love and excitement.
If you’re a first time momma, or expecting soon, be prepared to see the little jellybean that is your child. It’s so amazing, but also perplexing, that something that small can completely make you feel like garbage on the insides (depending on your pregnancy).
Sidenote: my blog on my first trimester is coming soon.
After calling and arranging my doctor appointment, I felt as if I was at a loss of what else needed to be accomplished in the first two months.
I realized quickly that we needed to develop a plan for which room in our house was going to be the baby’s room, and start preparing for the future. I also downloaded an amazing app, The Bump, to help me track the symptoms and to-do’s of pregnancy. I would highly recommend researching different App’s if you’re an expectant new momma!
I started to do a lot of research, beyond the doctor, on different hospitals in my area, to ensure that my OBGYN was one of the best in the area for deliveries.
It turns out there are some hospitals that are so/so, and it pays to do your research on those and what hospital your doctor(s) deliver at, just to make sure you are 100% comfortable and confident in your experience. After some deep diving, I felt reassured that I should keep my eight week appointment with my current doctor.
The next thing that I felt the pressure to figure out was when to tell our friends and family that we were expecting.
We found out that we were expecting roughly a week prior to my family’s visit for Christmas. Considering my family enjoys a beverage or two just as much as I do, I knew our secret wasn’t going to be a secret for long. We decided that we would tell our family and certain friends immediately, considering that they would be an amazing support system for us should something happen during the first trimester of our pregnancy.
We were overwhelmed by the support from our friends and family, and we knew that we made the right decision for us.
I also spent countless days worrying about when exactly to tell my boss that we were expecting. You see, the articles online that talk about when to tell your work are complete garbage. I read countless articles that made it sound like you should walk on egg shells when telling work about your pregnancy and even wait until you are 20 weeks.
My husband and I had a few discussions about it, and I went with my heart decision to tell my boss when I was roughly eight weeks. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about telling work, considering I had only been employed by the company for about the exact same amount of time; however, telling them early seemed to make the most sense. You see, since I used to manage a team, I thought about how I would want my staff to treat and trust me, and I knew that my boss deserved that same respect. It turned out he gave me a high five and was over the moon for my family.
For any mom-to-be out there struggling with when to tell family, friends and work about your pregnancy, I would definitely recommend following your intuition. It’s never going to be perfect, telling everyone, but if someone isn’t excited for you and your family then I would say they probably aren’t a very good person. I would imagine anyone who isn’t happy for someone that is expecting probably has some major struggles and insecurities of their own.
Also, I highly recommend not reading any of the articles that are out there that provide a timeline of when to tell anyone that you’re pregnant. This is your journey, and maybe you don’t want anyone to know or maybe you want all of your friends to know. There is no rule book for you and how the reactions will be about your pregnancy, but there is no comparison to the support and love that your friends can provide you.
Finding out you’re pregnant, and what steps you should take next, can be confusing, but it doesn’t have to be. As an expectant mom, you can feel pressure to follow the Google search bar for the rules on pregnancy, but you don’t need to. The more time that goes by in my pregnancy, the more I realize that there are no rules and that every pregnancy is different.
If you take anything away from this, please know that you are the only person telling your story and it’s a beautiful one.