the middle stages of, “the bump”

It’s funny how during the course of your pregnancy, you feel so many things and see so many changes. From your emotions, to your physical body – the changes seem endless. It also feels like pregnancy takes forever.

I’ve officially been pregnant for 20 weeks now, and it feels like it’s been almost my entire life. OK, maybe I am being over dramatic, but it feels like a long time!

If there’s anything pregnancy has taught me so far, it’s that every time I had made an excuse, in the past before this pregnancy, to cheat on attempts to not drink alcohol for 30 days – I was weak. I look forward to finally getting it together for a while after this baby makes its debut in the world, so I can finally achieve that level of fitness I have always wanted.

Isn’t it funny how you are always the barrier to your goals?

Whether it’s accomplishing something you’ve always wanted or making a change, it always boils down to YOU and what YOU DO. No one else is going to make you achieve goals, and no one is going to help you. Regardless, that is not the point.

At 20 weeks pregnant, my bump has officially made it’s appearance into the world.

In fact, last week, at 19 weeks pregnant, I tried to get into a pair of skinny jeans, and well, it was an epic failure. I found out I could no longer even zip my size 25 pants up! So instead, when I couldn’t get them up, I decided to default to that fun little hair-tie trick.

In that moment, I felt weird.

For me, it’s taken me a long time to be confident in my body and skin. I know a lot of my friends would say, “You’re crazy Maddy,” but the truth is, everyone struggles with their self image – especially in today’s world of social media “reality.”

When I first saw my bump last weekend, I felt excited, but also sad.

You see, over the course of most of my teenage life and into my twenties, I tried so hard to achieve what I viewed as the perfect body.  Nowadays, I realize that is a sack of sh#t, because no one has the perfect anything.

I mean, who defines what is perfect and isn’t? Aren’t we all perfect in the eyes of our creator?

Anyway, seeing my bump made me feel bad for a hot minute. I realized that all I had worked for felt gone, and that my body may never look the same again. Once I was able to snap through that thought, I realized that I determine the outcome of my body and what it will look like – no one else.

The initial stage of having a baby bump is a hard one, and maybe there are women out there who love it, but I am not one of those women. My bump makes me feel like I’ve just eaten too many pizzas in the past few weeks or like I am extra bloated. I feel like everyone can notice and that it looks like I have just put on weight – versus expecting.

I know this is just a phase, and soon I will look pregnant, but yet it is still challenging.

I apologize if you are reading this post and wondering what exactly the point is, so I will get to it…

As females, and even males, we are extremely hard on ourselves. We scroll through Instagram and look at all the idealistic body types and lifestyles we see. We compare ourselves to others, and put an expectation in our mind that we aren’t enough.

Well, I am here to simply say that YOU ARE ENOUGH!

This is something I have to remind myself of sometimes when I randomly get in a funk, which luckily doesn’t happen a lot anymore. I went through a period of time where I really struggled with my self image, but that is a conversation for another day.

Whether you’re a girl or a guy, you need to realize there is no one else out there like you and you should be proud of the person you are.

Forget everyone else and do you, boo boo!

That’s a mantra I really have embraced in the past few years since I disconnected from the world I used to live in – the world of nearly being, “Someone,” or what I deemed was popular and important.

You see, money and material things do not grant a person happiness – finding your inner confidence does.

So whether you have a bump or not, forget other people and know that you are strong, you are beautiful and you are one of a kind.

There’s my dose of self-help for today.

Perhaps I will write up a blog soon on what I went through for a few years that I have never really talked about, outside of maybe two friends and my husband.


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