to all of those with road warriors

You live for the precious moments.

For you, sometimes that means a Monday night trip to a local restaurant or part of a Thursday evening before a late flight. Maybe it’s the occasional Facetime or a week vacation off work. It’s the small moments that matter all just the same.

To you, and your family, time is precious.

This is to the women who do it all – whose husbands travel.

It isn’t always easy, cramming in your date(s), conversations and time, into a minimal schedule.

You spend most of your time apart, but that’s what it takes to make your world go round.

For him, he is working for your living and for you, you are living for your, “working.” You work to make sure your kids are fed (dogs included), the house is cleaned and that the entire family’s functionality doesn’t fall apart.

It’s a tall task, one that other people just don’t understand.

For me, it wasn’t always easy learning the life that my husband leads. It’s almost as if he has two lives – the doting husband at home and the guy who goes from race to race – place to place – each, and every, weekend.

If you’re like me, it’s like you both have two lives too – the one you have together and the one you have apart.

Learning to live with the life of a road warrior isn’t always easy, but it’s what you do because you’re in love and you’ll do anything for that.

Some days are harder than others. You’re lonely, you miss them and you don’t know how you handle so much time apart.

Some days you love it – you get your space, freedom and time to focus on you.

In our world, we spend 38 weekends apart exactly. That’s over half of the year, and leaves 14 weekends left to spend quality time together.

When you spend that much time apart, you learn a lot of lessons. Here is what I’ve learned about the wife of a road warrior…

Lesson #1 – how to be independent. 

I really don’t know how I could have ever handled a, “normal,” relationship. As much as I love my husband, I find that I also live for my weekends alone. I get so much quality time to write, read and lounge in my own individual existence.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband with every ounce of my being; however, I love myself too.

There is something that is so, absolutely, calming about being independent and knowing you are just fine by yourself.

While I live for moments with my husband, I also live for moments on my own – moments to prove I am still my own person despite having an amazing married life.

Lesson #2 – how to be smarter and fix things (sometimes) that I probably wouldn’t have been able to before. 

When you have four days a week to yourself, you just have to figure it out.

Like, if you have a flat tire or something goes wrong in your house – that’s for you to solve. Maybe you don’t always get it right – like this one time I accidentally painted half the ceiling with standard wall paint – but you try and that’s what counts.

Plus when you do these things, your husband can come home and smile because he knows that you do your best. (And then maybe make fun of you for your lack of common sense).

Lesson #3 – faith in your being. 

It’s not always butterflies when you don’t get to know what your partner is up to all the time. For some, it’s a deal breaker.

I’ve learned to have faith in my husband and my sense of self. Life is too short to be up someone’s a-hole all day. My husband works hard and if he only has five minutes to spare at night before dinner and bed then so be it. It’s not like I need to hear about turning wrenches all night anyway or that my life is so interesting that we need to talk for 30 minutes plus.

You have to have faith in your life together and not be that person who is obsessed with every small detail. It took me a while to learn this lesson, but man, was it freeing once I did.

Lesson 4 – forge your own path.

Never be afraid to do your own thing and stand your own ground. I am proud as hell of what my husband does for work, but does it define us or me or our lives? No. Is it a big part of his? Yes. However, we have a whole world outside of what his job is and I have, quite frankly, learned to not give a crap about anyone else but us.

Forge your own path and be your own person outside of your relationship (cough, cough kind of like independence).

Focus on your goals and your dreams.

I tell my husband all the time that I am going to out-do him some day and be the bread winner and he says, “Bring it on.” He loves that I challenge him, and he always says he can’t wait to be a stay at home dad… (LOL).

Lesson 5 – be thankful.

Being the wife of a man on the road is tough, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I met my husband when I used to travel in the same industry as he did and boy, it had its ups and downs.

For example, knowing everyone’s reputation and being surrounded by a plethora of insecurities. (I can go into that another time/day, because it helped shaped my attitude on life now). You can get caught up in the what ifs, the, “well these people have no morals,” and other random issues that quite frankly just don’t matter.

I always remember that the travel and his job have lead us to so many great things – even apart from meeting one another.

As the wife of a road warrior, be thankful because your family is part of something unique. Be thankful because your family works its arse off. Be thankful because why would you be anything else but that? You’re alive, you’re doing things no one else is doing and you’re strong.

The point in this blog? Being the significant other of a road warrior isn’t easy, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Shout-out to all the ladies out there who figure it out each week just like I do – y’all are rock stars and you know it!

Maddy

 

 

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